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Two Years Yesterday
Posted on 2009.02.02 at 16:59
Here it is suddenly. I remember arriving after twenty four hours of travel and experiencing disorientation at a level I could never have fathomed. There it was. In a land that I had fantasized, feared and questioned for so long. Africa. A land exploited by celebrities, abused by the developed world and formerly destroyed by arrogance and ignorance. As the plane touched down insecurities overtook my enthusiasm. What was I seriously going to do here? Had my mere four years of nursing experience prepared me for a career in completely unfamiliar environment? Thoughts of escaping back to my comfort zone, back to my world immediately flooded my mind. Had I really just dropped everything I knew, dismissed my previous achievements, and left everyone I ever knew for what seemed to be something I was completely naive to?
Here I sit trying to take it all in. To remember what it was like in those moments, when my Dad drove me to the airport, when I stepped off in DC, then in Brussels and finally Banjul. My initial thoughts on the country, the ideas I had on my next two years. The promises I made myself and others back home. Trying to take it all in one last time……
As my two year anniversary in country came and went yesterday I realized what I thought would never happen, has. I remember looking at my group initially and wondering who I would grow close to. It was so bizarre in that moment to look at twenty people and realize I would know individuals like family, and others would disappear before we were given a chance to be more than acquaintances.
When I left my village I feared the moment when I wouldn’t be able to see all of these dynamic people again. The day when I open my front door to a quiet and vacant America. For two years I have been surrounded by a culture that does not allow for privacy only because there is nothing you wouldn’t share with anyone. A village, a family, where communal living took on a new meaning to me. When you sleep past seven and everyone in concerned that you may be ill, when you don’t finish your entire lunch and it is assumed that you are upset with something. Being aloof can not be conceived. Being in a rush is never respectful, and saying less then three words to each and every person you pass by in a day is unheard of.
As I ride my bike through town and try to count how many times I have passed by the same people I also choke up at the thought of this being one of the last times. I embrace to lifestyle of a small town where everyone really does know everyone. A place where I so sorely stuck out when first embarking on, and now pass through with only friends identifying my presence. I don’t know if I will ever feel as welcomed to a community for the rest of my life, and I fear that entering an old land, my home land, will be an adequate replacement for the void this place will leave inside me.
As I went for one of my last runs and a small boy ran up next to me and reached out to hold my hand as I jogged through his village I couldn’t help but try to freeze the moment in my mind. I never want to forget the love that is dispensed here so freely, and the hospitality that can never be understood by anyone that hasn’t experienced it.
I hope that I can bring home some of the traditions of this world. I don’t want to lose the ability to see the uniqueness inside everyone and embrace the similarities that exist globally. If I have learned anything here it is that the world is misunderstood. Taking time to know people, and understand each other is the only way we can ever live with each other. More then the tangible work I have completed here, I know that I have accomplished an understanding for myself of who these people are, and who I am.
Here I sit trying to take it all in. To remember what it was like in those moments, when my Dad drove me to the airport, when I stepped off in DC, then in Brussels and finally Banjul. My initial thoughts on the country, the ideas I had on my next two years. The promises I made myself and others back home. Trying to take it all in one last time……
As my two year anniversary in country came and went yesterday I realized what I thought would never happen, has. I remember looking at my group initially and wondering who I would grow close to. It was so bizarre in that moment to look at twenty people and realize I would know individuals like family, and others would disappear before we were given a chance to be more than acquaintances.
When I left my village I feared the moment when I wouldn’t be able to see all of these dynamic people again. The day when I open my front door to a quiet and vacant America. For two years I have been surrounded by a culture that does not allow for privacy only because there is nothing you wouldn’t share with anyone. A village, a family, where communal living took on a new meaning to me. When you sleep past seven and everyone in concerned that you may be ill, when you don’t finish your entire lunch and it is assumed that you are upset with something. Being aloof can not be conceived. Being in a rush is never respectful, and saying less then three words to each and every person you pass by in a day is unheard of.
As I ride my bike through town and try to count how many times I have passed by the same people I also choke up at the thought of this being one of the last times. I embrace to lifestyle of a small town where everyone really does know everyone. A place where I so sorely stuck out when first embarking on, and now pass through with only friends identifying my presence. I don’t know if I will ever feel as welcomed to a community for the rest of my life, and I fear that entering an old land, my home land, will be an adequate replacement for the void this place will leave inside me.
As I went for one of my last runs and a small boy ran up next to me and reached out to hold my hand as I jogged through his village I couldn’t help but try to freeze the moment in my mind. I never want to forget the love that is dispensed here so freely, and the hospitality that can never be understood by anyone that hasn’t experienced it.
I hope that I can bring home some of the traditions of this world. I don’t want to lose the ability to see the uniqueness inside everyone and embrace the similarities that exist globally. If I have learned anything here it is that the world is misunderstood. Taking time to know people, and understand each other is the only way we can ever live with each other. More then the tangible work I have completed here, I know that I have accomplished an understanding for myself of who these people are, and who I am.
